Stabbed with a Birthday Hat
December 2, 2011

My baby is seven years old today.  I can’t believe how fast time is flying.  It seems like just yesterday she was learning not to pee on the floor.  Although to be honest, I’m not really sure today is her birthday – it’s just a rough estimate and an easy day to remember to celebrate.  My pride and joy was found on the side of the road, so her history is a mystery.  I adopted Freya in March of ‘05, and the vet guessed she was about three months old, so December 1st became her special day.  My sister’s dog Molly and my parent’s dog Chloe also share the December 1st birthday.  Chloe was adopted the same day from the same shelter, while Molly was adopted 4 years earlier.

As I mentioned in a previous post, the Rish family enjoys celebrating canine birthdays, so it was time to party!  And since that post has brought in a surprising amount of traffic with variations of the google search ‘dogs in hats’ (seriously, who knew so many people were looking for pictures of hat-wearing dogs?!?), I’m happy to share the pictures from the parties to help satiate those looking for adorable doggies.
 
First up, my sister sent me pictures from Molly’s celebration at her house.  Here Molly waits ever so patiently (and oh so cutely) to open her present.
Molly waits for her present
 
And now she’s howling with joy at her delicious haul.
Molly howls in excitement over her birthday goodies
 
Next up is my parents’ house, where Freya and Chloe celebrated together along with their best bud Lily.  As soon as I put the party hats on Freya and Chloe, they went a little crazy.  It could be because they thought the hats were evil entities clinging to their heads in order to suck out their brains.  Or maybe it’s just because they itched.  Whatever the reason, they were not happy to be wearing them.  I hustled back and forth between them, but as soon as I got a hat placed on one dog, the other had pawed, rubbed, or tossed her hat off.  
 
It was still laughter and cajoling and sweet talking as I tried to get them to wear their hats, when WHAM!  Chloe tossed her head and the point of her hat slammed into my bottom lip.  I staggered to my feet blinking back tears.  Oh my god, I’d just been stabbed in the face with a birthday hat!  I was going to have a hideous scar for the rest of my life.  And even worse, I was going to have to tell everyone I met the ridiculous story of how I’d gotten it.  I ran to the bathroom and almost wept in relief when there was no blood.  Even though it hurt, birthday hats are designed for fun, not maiming, so thank goodness no trip to the emergency room was necessary.  
 
Now, a sane person probably would have taken this as a sign to quit.  But since this entire post is about celebrating doggie birthdays, I’d guess most people have already made up their minds about my sanity.  My battle wound just made me more determined – I was going to get a cute picture of both dogs in their hats, even if I ended up in the hospital.     
 
When all was said and done, this was the result:  
Freya and Chloe feel deep shame about wearing birthday hats
Freya’s eyes squeezed shut in shame and Chloe looking so, so, so sad.  But don’t worry, no furry animals were harmed in the making of this picture (although in addition to my fat lip, I also ended up with a bloody scratch on my hand when I intercepted as Freya was swatting off her headwear).  So in the end, I don’t think this counts as a victory.  While I did get a picture of both of them in their hats, I’m not sure if it falls in the ‘cute’ category, more like the ‘please make it stop’ category.
 
But I did manage to get one of each of them individually looking sorta cute (or at least looking like a whip wasn’t hovering over them out of camera range).
Freya waits for her birthday cake
Chloe got tired of waiting for her birthday cake
 
 
And through the entire hat kerfuffle, sweet Lily stood by watching with her hat perched on her head, never once trying to take it off.  And that’s why she got an extra bone with her slice of ‘birthday cake’ when it wasn’t even her birthday!
Lily's a patient dog
 
After it was all over, I apologized to Freya and Chloe for yelling at them on their birthday, and they forgave me with plenty of slobbery kisses.  Although I have to say, neither one of them apologized for maiming me.  But I think it was a small price to pay, since they really are adorable in their birthday hats.  Happy Birthday Freya, Chloe, and Molly! 
 
Do you do anything special for your pet’s birthday?  Or do you think the Rish clan needs to be carted off to the loony bin?  And what about Chloe – was the hat incident an accident or was she trying to murder me via party hat in retaliation for her humiliation?
 

My baby is seven years old today.  I can’t believe how fast time is flying.  It seems like just yesterday she was learning not to pee on the floor.  Although to be honest, I’m not really sure today is her birthday – it’s just a rough estimate and an easy day to remember to celebrate.  My pride and joy was found on the side of the road, so her history is a mystery.  I adopted Freya in March of ‘05, and the vet guessed she was about three months old, so December 1st became her special day.  My sister’s dog Molly and my parent’s dog Chloe also share the December 1st birthday.  Chloe was adopted the same day from the same shelter, while Molly was adopted 4 years earlier.

As I mentioned in a previous post, the Rish family enjoys celebrating canine birthdays, so it was time to party!  And since that post has brought in a surprising amount of traffic with variations of the google search ‘dogs in hats’ (seriously, who knew so many people were looking for pictures of hat-wearing dogs?!?), I’m happy to share the pictures from the parties to help satiate those looking for adorable doggies.
 
First up, my sister sent me pictures from Molly’s celebration at her house.  Here Molly waits ever so patiently (and oh so cutely) to open her present.
Molly waits for her present
 
And now she’s howling with joy at her delicious haul.
Molly howls in excitement over her birthday goodies
 
Next up is my parents’ house, where Freya and Chloe celebrated together along with their best bud Lily.  As soon as I put the party hats on Freya and Chloe, they went a little crazy.  It could be because they thought the hats were evil entities clinging to their heads in order to suck out their brains.  Or maybe it’s just because they itched.  Whatever the reason, they were not happy to be wearing them.  I hustled back and forth between them, but as soon as I got a hat placed on one dog, the other had pawed, rubbed, or tossed her hat off.  
 
It was still laughter and cajoling and sweet talking as I tried to get them to wear their hats, when WHAM!  Chloe tossed her head and the point of her hat slammed into my bottom lip.  I staggered to my feet blinking back tears.  Oh my god, I’d just been stabbed in the face with a birthday hat!  I was going to have a hideous scar for the rest of my life.  And even worse, I was going to have to tell everyone I met the ridiculous story of how I’d gotten it.  I ran to the bathroom and almost wept in relief when there was no blood.  Even though it hurt, birthday hats are designed for fun, not maiming, so thank goodness no trip to the emergency room was necessary.  
 
Now, a sane person probably would have taken this as a sign to quit.  But since this entire post is about celebrating doggie birthdays, I’d guess most people have already made up their minds about my sanity.  My battle wound just made me more determined – I was going to get a cute picture of both dogs in their hats, even if I ended up in the hospital.     
 
When all was said and done, this was the result:  
Freya and Chloe feel deep shame about wearing birthday hats
Freya’s eyes squeezed shut in shame and Chloe looking so, so, so sad.  But don’t worry, no furry animals were harmed in the making of this picture (although in addition to my fat lip, I also ended up with a bloody scratch on my hand when I intercepted as Freya was swatting off her headwear).  So in the end, I don’t think this counts as a victory.  While I did get a picture of both of them in their hats, I’m not sure if it falls in the ‘cute’ category, more like the ‘please make it stop’ category.
 
But I did manage to get one of each of them individually looking sorta cute (or at least looking like a whip wasn’t hovering over them out of camera range).
Freya waits for her birthday cake
Chloe got tired of waiting for her birthday cake
 
 
And through the entire hat kerfuffle, sweet Lily stood by watching with her hat perched on her head, never once trying to take it off.  And that’s why she got an extra bone with her slice of ‘birthday cake’ when it wasn’t even her birthday!
Lily's a patient dog
 
After it was all over, I apologized to Freya and Chloe for yelling at them on their birthday, and they forgave me with plenty of slobbery kisses.  Although I have to say, neither one of them apologized for maiming me.  But I think it was a small price to pay, since they really are adorable in their birthday hats.  Happy Birthday Freya, Chloe, and Molly! 
 
Do you do anything special for your pet’s birthday?  Or do you think the Rish clan needs to be carted off to the loony bin?  And what about Chloe – was the hat incident an accident or was she trying to murder me via party hat in retaliation for her humiliation?
 

Jocelyn Rish

Jocelyn Rish is a writer and filmmaker who never imagined her cheeky sense of humor would lead to a book about animal butts. When she's not researching fanny facts, she tutors kids to help them discover the magic of reading. Jocelyn has won numerous awards for her short stories, screenplays, short films, and novels and lives in South Carolina with her booty-ful dogs.